Weird: A Preview into the Private Life of Hatake Kakashi
by InuLoveKawaii13
Summary: If one more person said he was weird, Hatake Kakashi might just blow a vacuum tube.


Weird

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Summary: Hatake Kakashi is about to burst. If one more person calls him weird...

Disclaimer: I swear, all of the familiar belong to the mangaka. I only own my characters and the plot itself.

Author Note: I thought this would be a cute story to put on here. I have been working on it for a little bit, mostly with no intention with getting no where with it. It is purely for fun, no motivation, no request from friends. Just something that came to thought, courtesy of Calico and Rio, my beautiful plot bunnies. They really are nice on occasion!

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Kakashi would never be the first to deny that he was a weird guy. He would probably not even realize that you said such things, seeing as his students would constantly say so. Naruto would just tell you that it was normal to see the 30 year old walking seemingly without a glance in front of him, though if you asked, he would tell you that he traveled those streets so often that he could probably walk them in his sleep if possible. But when his girlfriend of eighteen months told him that he was weird, Kakashi decided to try and figure out just what was weird about him. Here is the list he came up with:

1.

_Great list_, the man thought as he sat at his desk staring at the paper he placed in front of him. A door opened and Kakashi sent a glance outside his bedroom to spy Amuri walking into the small kitchen and place a bag of food on the counter. He turned to look at the paper again.

1.

_This is getting annoying. Maybe I should ask –_

"What are you doing?" Amuri asked, right behind Kakashi. Said man jumped, shaking slightly at the thought of how quiet the girl was when she came into his room.

"Nothing much really; why do you ask?"

"Oh, good, maybe you can write me a list on the little piece of paper with a one on it that you have been staring at for ages." Kakashi blinked as he looked at the female. "What?" she questioned, cautious. When he didn't respond, she said exactly what had bugged Kakashi for the past week: "You're a little weird…" The man gave a weak smile in attempt to make that out to be a good statement. "Put down blankets." Kakashi frowned, but picked up his pen all the same. _Why does she need blankets?_

Blankets

"Ok. Hey wh –"

"Put down soap, too!" Amuri shouted from the kitchen, interrupting Kakashi in the process.

"Ok." Kakashi continued to grumble as he wrote down the next item.

Soap

"Ooo! Carrots, tomatoes, lavenders, and music scores!" Kakashi did as he was told, not bothering to question why she wanted him to write down music scores. He learned long before then that girls were not to be questioned on why they shop for the things they do.

Carrots

Tomatoes

Lavenders

Music Scores

"That all?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yep." She placed a plate in front of him before sitting across from him. For a moment, Kakashi forgot his question about being weird, and would do so for the rest of the night.

The next day, as Kakashi woke up, before the girl sleeping soundly next to him (as usual), he remembered the comment – and how easily he was distracted. _I hate it when she brings up my former students…_ Kakashi silently and restlessly got out of the bed and went to sit at his desk. He pulled out another sheet of paper and started out the same as the previous night, before Amuri distracted him, that is.

1.

_Maybe I should ask people around town? I might actually get somewhere this time._ Standing, he wrote a note, mentioning something about training, the white lie harmless, before heading out the door.

Kakashi cringed as he heard the loud voice behind him. The last person he ever wanted to see in the morning was Anko, fascinating though she was, even Gai was more appealing than the woman. It was hard to like to see someone who had a fetish with attacking you with dango sticks. And managing to pierce skin each time.

"Yo, Kakashi! Bit early for you to show up, isn't it?" she asked, her focus still on the stretches she was doing with Gai. He turned around and looked at her, again wondering why he ever thought she was hot when he saw her two years ago. Glad to not have those thoughts anymore, he shook his head.

"I'm early?" he asked, thinking on her remark.

"No, you are still late, dango stick, but definitely showed up earlier than you ever have in the past. Now that I think about it, I think you broke a personal rule."

"I have personal rules?"

"Yeah. They are weird, too." Kakashi bristled. He was beginning to hate that word.

"How are my boundaries weird?" he demanded, sharp as a porcupine. Anko looked up, shocked.

"You would rather abandon a mission than lose a comrade. You must always be late to training, showing up over half an hour late at times. You are one of the most brilliant ninja's in Konoha, yet you are a contradiction in that you can't follow the rules or do anything right in the process. Now that I think about it, you are exactly like Naruto. The kid is brilliant, but he is too much of a blunder to do anything right." Anko paused. "Except you have a brain. Sometimes I wonder if that kid even has one. He is definitely wired differently." Kakashi began to step away from the training field. "Hey! Where are you going? We have training today!" He merely raised a hand in response. Pulling the paper out of his pocket, he scribbled down the first answer to his question.

Kakashi blinked as he looked at the Hokage, who stood in front of the food stand, confused.

"Tsunade-sama. How are you today?" he said as he approached. She turned to look at him, not oblivious to the book he held in his hand, though she looked at it strangely.

"What is that on top of your book?" she asked, snatching the paper before he could react. "'1. A rule breaker who abides by the rules. – Anko,'" she said. She looked up at the man.

"What?" he asked, defensive.

"You're weird." She studied him as he bristled at the word.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" he muttered, now talking to himself. Tsunade started laughing. He sent a half-hearted glare at his boss. She scribbled something onto the paper before handing it back to him and walking away, giving up on the food stand. Kakashi looked down on the paper and rolled his eyes. _Everyone has an addiction._

2. A merciless man who has a heart. – Tsunade

Kakashi merely continued down the road as he strolled through the village. Not looking up, he crashed into someone. Looking, he saw Amuri sitting on the ground, looking at him with a smirk on her face. Helping her up, she planted a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"What are you doing in the market?" she asked, taking hold of his hand. He shrugged. "You are so weird." Kakashi tried to hide the bristle and hoped she didn't notice. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking at his face as he avoided looking into her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her, planning on actually heading to the training ground, knowing Kurenai or Gai was probably there, only to fall and push her down – and gain a semi sore back in the process. Rolling over and sending the object that crashed into him onto the ground as well, he sat up and glared – at Naruto. Looking in the opposite direction, he spotted Sakura, angry and looking ready to murder the blonde.

"What did you do, Naruto?" The boy looked over at Kakashi, as if shocked he was there at all. "Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto glanced at Sakura, who was charging towards him. "I only wanted to give her a birth- Sakura-chan! Please don't hurt me!" He dove behind Kakashi, who in turn looked at the boy like he was addled.

"Sakura, I think you punched him one too many times!" Kakashi said, looking at the girl in question like she grew an extra head. The girl was calm in an instant.

"You think I did that to him? You're weird, Kakashi-sensei, but I didn't think you were dumb, too." With that she sashayed away, leaving Kakashi seething internally and Naruto cowering behind him until she was out of site for at least three minutes.

"Oh thank jutsu!" he breathed. Kakashi stood, helped Amuri to her feet, kissed her on the cheek and left, popping up on the training field to find both Gai and Kurenai sparing each other. He sat down and opened his book, his list right in front of him.

"Kurenai-sensei!" Kakashi turned to see the Hyuuga girl running to the field, a child in a sling in front of her. The woman turned.

"Hinata-sama! What happened?" The girl stopped at Kakashi and Kurenai made for them. Kakashi glanced at the kid and saw it staring at him. And drooling, but he had a feeling babies always drooled. But it didn't unnerve him as much as the staring did. Grubby hand reaching out, Kakashi's eyes widened as the kid reached for him. When no one did anything about it, the kid wailed, making everyone jump out of their skin. The kid continued to reach for Kakashi, who desperate to shut the kid up, picked him out of the carrier the Hyuuga held him in and turned him to watch Gai attack a tree stump. Blessed silence came out of the kid, he messed around with his shirt sleeve, paying no attention to the green suited ninja. Kurenai, stunned, watched as Kakashi managed to silence the little monster that she and Asuma created together. No one was capable of it. Not even Shikamaru, though Shikamaru could get the screamer to lower the pitch and level to a mere sob.

"So weird," Gai said. Kakashi, already awkward, tried not to snap.

"Ever considered babysitting, Kakashi?" she asked. Kakashi tried to ignore the implementation in her voice.

"Hell no."

"Oh, Kakashi, come on. You would make a great babysitter."

"Why am I weird? Everyone has been saying that to me all day today."

"You are good with kids and yet claims to want nothing to do with babysitting."

"You deal with Gai on a daily basis." Kakashi looked at Kurenai as if she lost her mind. "You have to be made of something unworldly to be able to handle that without combusting."

"You really take that seriously?" the Hyuuga asked, causing all three to turn and look at her. Kakashi balked though, at the sight of Amuri coming up to the field. He immediately handed the kid to Hyuuga – and it proceeded to scream and reach for him. Looking at the kid, frustrated, he picked him up gently and sat down on the stump again. Amuri reached them by then and looked at Kakashi, child in arms and asleep. The man looked extremely uncomfortable to the rest of the world, though to the females in the area, he looked like a child's Prince Charming. Kakashi reminded himself to add this to the list. Pulling out the paper, he scribbled quickly before putting it away. Amuri, who watched him, cocked her head as she watched the baby in his arms pull at his mask, which he absently tugged up when it got dangerously low. Sneaking in, she snatched the paper in his hand and he reached for it, the child held firmly by one arm. Shouts of laughter erupted from her as she held the paper just out of his grasp, eventually turning into him and surprising him with a kiss, the mask pulled down just far enough. A chorus of aww's went off behind them as he leaned closer in attempt to deepen it. Right as she pulled away and read the paper. Her eyes flickered to him before snatching his pencil from him. Handing back the list, she gave him a soft kiss before walking away in the direction she came.

10. He loved me at first sight. – Amuri

Kakashi looked up at her before looking at his list again. Smirking he handed the kid off to the Hyuuga babysitter – this time with him not screaming, seeming to have gotten his Kakashi fix – before chasing after his girlfriend.

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Final Note: If you want the full list, I have one written out. I might post it on my profile page. Feedback is welcome!


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